.: JOKES

Q: What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman?

A: A used car salesman knows when he's lying.



It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.

As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?

"Heavens no, we bought it."

"Then why don't you drive it away?"

"We can't drive."

"Then why did you buy it?"

"We were told that if we bought a used car here we'd get screwed, so we're just waiting."



Top 10 Indications You Have the Wrong Used Car Salesman.

10. When you complain that a car has too many miles, he asks you how many miles you'd like to see on it.

9. Has dog named "Pacer."

8. When you crank the car and fluid rockets over your left shoulder, he notes, "Oh, that's a standard feature on all of these newer models."

7. Uses the 'Slim Jim' strapped to his belt to open the cars for your inspection.

6. When you ask him where the restroom is, he says, "Tell 'ya what I'm gonna do..."

5. Lunges behind a fern every time you mention "Mike Wallace."

4. His bumper sticker reads, "Honk If You've Ever Reamed A Guy For Eight C-notes On A '72 Dodge Dart."

3. Casts no shadow even in direct sunlight.

2. Ever uses the words "excellent" and "Hyundai" in the same sentence.

1. Tries to convince you that this car will get better mileage because it is heavier, and you will be able to "coast a lot."

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